2022: The Year of the Moment

“Free your mind and everything will follow.”

People at the beginning of each year typically have all these goals they want to achieve. Losing weight, making more money and other reasonable desires find their way onto many’s New Years’ Resolutions lists. I too, have goals that I set out to accomplish this year but I really only had one resolution:

To live in the moment and enjoy the life I am co-creating for myself.

Thinking over how this year went for me, it’s a lot to take in. Change has been a consistent theme for me. Adapting to new dynamics and ways of being without even realizing it until now. Unpredictable is an understatement. Out of the bat, the year began with its twists and turns, but I was a trooper. No matter what was going on, I tried my best to remain level-headed and in a position of gratitude. It hasn’t been easy.

A prominent characteristic of mine that annoys the hell out of me is my tendency to overthink. It’s involuntary and if I could, I would love to flick the off switch on it. Countless times, I find myself in my head, wondering if what I am doing is being perceived as negative. In doing this, I would sell myself short by playing small, in fear of making a fool of myself or facing some sort of rejection. Other times, it felt like I was walking in pitch-black darkness, relying on the rest of my senses to guide me. Clinging onto faith and thankfulness is the fuel that kept me going. Vowing to myself that despite what may not be ideal in my life currently, there is still growth happening.

Concluding this year, I made a decision to stop stripping away my own power. It’s weird; I know my capabilities and I am confident. But somehow, there still is this guard that I put up in front of me for protection, when in actuality, it is a hindrance. All it does is make me wonder “What if I hadn’t…?” or “Was that truly the better choice or did I need to make sure that this played out the way I wanted it to?” The need for control definitely plays a role in my behavior like this. I also got used to not wanting to be seen and avoiding being the center of attention. Most of the time, I find that my fears are rooted in not being able to control the outcome of a situation. At different times in my life, I felt like I did not have control over my choices or what I really wanted. When I was younger, I felt like I had to do as told or conform to what was expected of me based on the environment I was in.

When I finally got to a place where I felt comfortable making my own choices solely for me, I tended to retreat to the background. Trying my hardest to blend in. Keep a low-key presence. I guess my logic was that by “not doing too much”, I could control the narrative that people had of me. When in all reality, people are going to think and feel whatever it is they choose to REGARDLESS. Besides that, knowing who I am is to know that those in alignment with my energy will acknowledge that willingly.

I noticed that even in my shyest moments, my aura still drew people, opportunities, and all that I desired to me…and that is when I knew that no matter how hard I tried to control anything, what was for me, ultimately will be. I began to accept that I was deserving of all that was coming to me because of the frequency I vibrate on. Evolution is constantly happening around me and it’s only for the better. I trust the path that has been laid out before me because I have seen miracles happen in my life. I’ve been a witness to the unexplainable. The “coincidences” that seem too good to be true, but indeed are. 2022 has shown me that anything is truly possible if only I believe.

Don’t deny yourself the freedom you desire by trying to be digestible for everybody else. The ones that have the stomach to handle what you are serving will not deny you.

This year, I started out at what felt like another rock bottom in my life to find myself in a position where I’m just grateful to be here. While everything isn’t perfect, I’m thankful to say that I am not concerned about what is becoming of me. The signs of the times are here, and I’m no longer rejecting what God has destined for me. I understand that life is dynamic and things are consistently shifting, but that doesn’t mean that struggles will last forever. As much as some can sting, I now try to take my lessons graciously as they come. There is always something to learn from the world around you, and obtaining hands-on experience from living is inevitable. Internalizing stress, worry, and fear is a choice. The joy I aim to feel daily comes from living in the moment and magnetizing what is rightfully mine.

The only time that ever really matters is NOW.