“When you gonna stop thinking and start being?”
NEW YORK CITY. The concrete jungle. A place where people of all nationalities, ethnicities, and creeds are simply trying to make it. I was born and raised here, and so happen to still call this place my home. Growing up in a big city like NYC, you’re groomed to move fast-paced and always ready to be on the go. There’s a never-ending amount of options regarding something to do or somewhere to be. Throughout my life, I’ve always explored different parts of the city naturally because of who I was around and what was available to me.
This access became so common in nature, I didn’t take into account how much it was a privilege, but in some instances, a pain to deal with.
For the love of my environment and the culture that contributed to shaping who I am, I try my best to stay tapped into the world around me. The raw beauty and energy that flows through this city is indescribable. From its breathtaking sights, unique experiences, and delicious restaurants to its top-of-the-line fashion scene, heavy musical influence, and jumping nightlife, there is absolutely nothing like it.
But at some point, the veil was lifted from my eyes and I saw things from a different perspective. I realized that my thoughts about New York City were changing, and my mindset overall.
I love a good time, but I also became aware of when I started chasing after things just to do it. No real rhyme or reason, but simply for the thrill of it all. I was reckless with my money and found myself “YOLO”-ing my way through life without realizing it. Being young, I do understand this is a phase of life that many people go through. But introspection brought to my attention how much I began to detach from my wants and needs to be socially accepted, and I didn’t like what I saw.
Living here, sometimes I feel the pressure of presenting myself a certain way. Everyone is seemingly living, dressing, eating, and anything else you could think of like the rich and famous. Am I at a point in life where I have my standards for myself? Yes, and the things that I have acknowledged within myself that I have to work on, I’m getting to it. I was too worried about an image and not focused enough on what happens when the show is over.
Trust and believe, I envision a lifestyle of freedom, leisure, and luxury for myself, so I’m not against enjoying your pleasures. But I had to start using my thinking cap. I couldn’t be living like I was experiencing that type of lifestyle already without sacrificing what I could be building to truly thrive in that later.
I was blessed to start a new position in what has been my favorite role to date. It’s a stepping stone on my career path and I’m excited to see what the future holds. God has his hands on me and the best rain storms always end with a rainbow, sometimes maybe two.
Aside from buckling down on my responsibilities on the career front, I’ve decided to put more effort into working on myself from the inside out. Addressing negative habits, developing new ones, and making different choices. Weighing out the options that are available to me, and exploring them as they come. I’ve accepted that my life is one big experiment where I am the alchemist. I work with what I have and make the absolute best of it.
I aim to amplify the positive that is present in my life and to create more of that. I feel like I’ve finally tapped into the part of me that understands that everything is always working out for my highest good. I feel love, joy, and gratitude in my heart beyond what is going on in my reality, although sometimes it doesn’t feel ideal.
My faith has allowed me to trust that I am covered, protected, and watched over. Even though things aren’t perfect, divine timing is always at play. I was thinking so much about how to maintain, instead of thinking about how to flourish and stand in the energy of that.
Going into overthinking mode paralyzed me from actually taking action when I was previously in this “woe is me” state. I blamed everything and everyone I could for why I wasn’t in the exact position I wanted to be in life. Self-accountability has given me the power to course correct and get it together.
The negative voices in my head don’t win. The foolish decision-making is ceasing to exist. My mental clarity is sharpening to think wisely because I have to represent what I say here. My awareness of the world around me as well as the way I desire to show up in it has rearranged my thought process.
I recognize my mission in contributing to the greater good of society, and how that can continue to blossom the more I put into it. The way I’ve been pouring into my growth on this journey, I can’t move anymore like I’m not aware of what I have been investing in over time. True freedom in all areas of my life is on the line. Having somewhat of an understanding of what I see for my future has given me the harsh reality check that I need to keep my eyes on the target in front of me, and not get distracted by things that won’t mean much in the long run.
The speed of this city will never slow down, but thankfully the thoughts in my mind did. I don’t care to keep up with anything but myself. I’m in a flow state, allowing God to show me how good life can get. I’m not trying to control what it looks like based on anything but what is naturally and authentically me.
This world will give you every reason why you need to pretzel-twist yourself into everything but your highest self. Accountable, empathetic, genuine, honest, respectful, trustworthy, and loving people are still in style. Never mind the distractions and get the work done. Actualize your productive thoughts and go out there to shine in your essence. Appreciate all of who you are, flaws and all, as every bit and piece of you adds to your tremendous value.
You were made as you were for a reason, and there’s a special beauty in that.
Honoring that within me has shifted me from blocking off my intuition to listening to my body, and doing what makes me feel at ease. I am who I am, and I’m not questioning if there’s something wrong with that anymore. Yeah, I have some growing to do…but who doesn’t?
In the end, it’s the thoughts that are building towards something better that need attention. Everything else is noise.