Let Go and Live

“Life get hard. You ease your soul and cleanse your mind. Learn to fly then reach the stars…”

“Intro” by J. Cole hit different when I was writing this.

Have you ever held onto an idea, person, belief, habit, or possession knowing that it was time to let go but did not have the courage to do so? I have, in fact multiple times for everything I listed above. There is something about being able to reminisce and appreciate what has been a constant part of your life. A bond between you and that which you are attached to can bring comfort and delight. Or maybe that particular ideal was something that was instilled within you from the beginning of time. But what happens when that object of affection is no longer fulfilling its purpose in your life? When you open your eyes to the realities of what is actually presented before you and not what you wish it could be?

I have a love/hate relationship with change. I know that it is bound to happen, and has the potential to improve my life for the better. But so many times I found myself in situations where deep down I knew I did not belong there in fear of what is on the other side of that change. Stepping out on a limb and trusting the universe that everything will fall in place can feel like an out of body experience. Whether we realize it or not, emotional ties to that which we are afraid of changing is real. And as much as I am a logical, analytical person, I used emotions when making decisions trying to avoid change. I tried to rationalize the irrational all for everything I was evading to happen anyway.

A fear of mine was me already being presented with the best there is to get and losing out on it if I walked away. Thinking to myself “There could be no better than this,” because I felt happy, satisfied, and completed, but really was I? Holding onto values and thoughts because they supported behaviors that were acceptable for those whom I happened to be around in that moment. Choosing to take part in actions that developed into habits that were nothing to be proud of. Pretentious, excitement filled moments with people built on the hollow foundation of seeking out good times and memories, amidst a lack of accountability and honesty.

I was not holding myself accountable for the conduct I was actively choosing to participate in knowing that was not contributing to my growth. I was dishonest by lying to myself about how these things would benefit me somehow, knowing in fact I was not doing my necessary work to the best of my ability. Not realizing the vice grip that I had on the things in my life that were damaging me. Naturally, I associated letting go with giving up because as a society we are groomed to believe your strength is determined by how much you are willing to take.

I had to wake up from the fairytale and give myself a reality check that was overdue. As I continue to grow and develop as a person, I understand that there are new levels that are awaiting me with every step in a positive direction I take on my own personal journey. When I realized that situations and even certain people around me were not changing for the better as I was attempting to, as hard as it was I had to separate myself. Letting go of all that once gave me temporary and surface level satisfaction was hard, but I had to think about my future. Being stagnant and staying in the same position for a continued period of time is something that I ultimately fear the most. I hold myself to a standard that transcends financial gain or the praise and approval of others. I truly want to be the best person I can be in ALL areas of my life because I know that greatness is my destiny.

Holding onto dead weight will only hinder you in the long run. I no longer fear what needs to be removed from my life as God sees fit. I now recognize letting go as a test of courage and faith, as opposed to strength. I know that as I get better as an overall being, the life that I live, the mindset I have, the people around me, the experiences I partake in, will only get better. The limitations that we set on ourselves out of convenience and fear do us more harm than good. Every time one door closes, another one opens, and some open doors need to be shut. That is just the flow of life. The beauty in letting go is having the understanding that greater is already on the way.